Entry: Allegoric Dreams Friday, October 28, 2005



I stand at the foot of a pier, looking over a calm salt lake. The colors left by the salt are brilliant, yet there is a darkness in them. Behind me is a building, stretching off to my right. To my left is the remains of a lush forest, battered back by the clubs and hammers of civilization. There's an atmosphere of hurriedness despite the serene view of the lake. A want buried down in the deepest reaches of my being urges me to leave. To get away from this place. There's a pressure pushing in on my concsiousness. It is a black place. It's existence serves as a counter to my sanity. There is nothing right with this place. Here lies the feared apostate. It reeks of despondence and hatred. This is where the horsemen leave their mounts.

I hear a shuffling in the distance. I look to my right and see a solitary figure lurch into sight from around the building. His pallidity is comparable to that of a flower; a sallow, bloodless white. He is nude, and he moves with his head held low, as if condemned to death. His hair is matted and wiry. He shivers violently as he turns to face me; his black eyes meet mine. His white flesh is smeared pink with blood. He has cuts from head to toe.

Two more shapes shudder into view. Their condition is the same as the first. A once beautiful woman convulses as she begins to hobble toward me. I can hear her breathing though she is hundreds of yards away, each inspiration sounding like an old smoker's final expiration. More of these people pour out from around the corner. There are dozens of them. And they are writhing. A squirming mass of deflated humanity, jittering toward me.

I stand paralyzed as my terror mounts. My mind nearly torn from its anchor. I'm brought back by their smell. A rancidity that makes me recoil with utter disgust. It burns the inside of my nose and chest. My mind snaps back to the twisted reality I'm facing. I can't let these beasts see me. Lest I become one of them.

In a panic I scramble into the lake before me. I splash under the water just as these monsters come to the pier. The first walks by, but the second, the woman, turns and looks into the water directly at me, and smiles and her eyes widen with some ferel glee. I can see a yearning in her eyes, beyond my feeling of escape but in the same vein. And she enjoys it. She lives for that disjointed sense of misplacement. She bends over and reaches her hand toward the water. She's trying to touch me, to grab me.

In a blind hysteria I try to shove myself away from her. I can't let her touch me. Please don't touch me. I can visualize my psyche tearing free. But my attempts at escape are futile. I'm frozen in place, caught in her stare. Her fingers break the surface of the water and I feel her tainted essence creeping around me, contaminating the water like some kind of noxious, slippery film. I vomit into the water and she continues pushing toward me. Her hand inches closer to my face and I can see the dirt under her ragged nails. I can taste the film. It's everywhere. Inside me. Please don't touch me. Oh God. Please don't touch me. Her smile never leaves until her eyes widen again, and she jerks her head quickly to the side. She pulls her hand back and a look of terror not unlike the one on my face previously overtakes her visage. What hell is this that this epitome of fear can sense something awful enough to scare it so. She turns away and continues with the line of lepers that continue behind her.

At my own liberty again, I scramble underneath the pier and surface to breathe. I might be safe here... I watch the corpselike figures parade past me and suddenly stop. They turn in unison and jump into the water, screaming like caged animals as the salt enters their wounds. They're all around me; on all sides. The film is back. It's everywhere. Creeping into my pores. I hear a pounding. The thudding of heavy footsteps on the pier and a low gutteral growl. It walks down the pier out towards the lake. I see a shadow reflected in the water. A human shape. The pounding grows closer and stops directly above my head.

All the corpses turn and look at me.

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